Yesterday was suppose to be a much better day than it turned out to be. Yesterday was or first Dr. appointment. We were suppose to see the heartbeat, but we didnt. Dr. Wilson caught a glimpse of what we thought would have shown the heartbeat, but it was at a weird angle. We were able to see an abnormally shaped Yolk sac. It was much more ovular than normal, and she said that a heartbeat should have been there, as the size of the sac should have put me at about 6 weeks. So, we were prepared to expect the worst. By Thursday we will get the results of the 48 hour bloodwork that will test my HCG levels, and if they are not as high as they should be, then it can be safe to say that it was a miscarriage. Levels start at zero and double every two days, therefore I should be at about 1200 or higher. Its minutely possible that its just a late bloomer, but last night when I went to the bathroom at midnight, there was some bright red spotting when I wiped. Then this morning it was brown. I havent gotten a period yet, and sometimes spotting can present itself in a normal pregnancy, but I cant help but not let myself think either way about it.
I cried for a moment when I went to bed. It has to be the hormones. I mean its incredibly sad, but I know why pregnancies self terminate. It means something is wrong, and I have to say I would rather any of this happen sooner than later in a pregnancy. We have another appointment for this coming Monday. Worst case scenario, we will move on, we will be thankful for Josie and Avery, and if we get pregnant again and it sticks we will be happier than if we hadnt gone through a miscarriage.
We will see what happens. Im going to take it easy today. It cant hurt any :)
1 comments:
I love you and I wish I could hug you. I want to make it better for you. You're such a strong lady though that I know either way you'll be okay.
And I love you. Don't forget.
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